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Thursday, May 5th, 2011
1:48 pm - Hmm well it seems.
I'm back on LiveJournal after someone humorously told me I should get one to post 'emo' stuff on. As it happens I've already done that in the past and since falling out of love with the site, promptly forgot I'd ever done so.

Anyway, as I'm currently in the 'process' of becoming the world's greatest writer I really ought to leave a public record of my rise... To power. (Tenacious D reference)

Yes, some few years after my otherwise pointless Literature degree (shut up) I've wrestled the burnt-out cinders of my creativity away from their inner sofa of despair. I'm writing a book about a boy, or possibly a girl who is possessed by a Demon. I've already written enough material for a series of books or a series of movies about the world in which it is set, it seems I have my father's anally retentive love of needing to know every detail. Of everything. Ever. In this case it means that while I have no plot as yet, I do have a fully fleshed out universe in a series of files relating to all flora and fauna found there, how magic links to real-world physics. Character descriptions, lists of powers allowable, arcane devices and how they've been made to a very poor standard. Etc etc ad infinitum.

Thing is though it's always human dialogue and social interplay that makes a good book great. The Joss Whedon rule applies, NEVER allow supernatural events to be the central focus. The focus must always be on character. JK Rowling in many ways breaks this rule... Things just seem to happen to Harry Potter and he comes off as a bit of a lucky moron. There's no inner life to him worth very much at all. It seems odd that a female writer writing such a strong character as Hermione Granger should make the main character such a thick headed lunk of a boy as Harry Potter. I would have been quite happy to see him die in the first book and had Hermione use the rest of the series as a revenge thriller.

Anyway. Today I'm distracted from further efforts in the direction of creativity by needing to find out how the hell I'm going to vote for the AV system when I never received a voting card. That and I'm sure I've forgotten to do a million things I'll later get it in the neck for not doing. Such is the agony of having absolutely no memory in a world of infinite tasks and important minutiae. Oh you can do voice posting now? How neat. I'll probably never do that but I do have such a great number of voices it seems a waste not to.

current mood: groggy

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Thursday, October 7th, 2010
9:53 pm - Wow
Been gone a while.

current mood: blah

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Friday, May 18th, 2007
2:30 pm - Whining/Good news/Moaning/Yay
Good: New efforts to change sleep pattern to a more 'normal' 8 hours are on track(ish).
Bad: I am so tired I fell asleep in the car parked next to Pitville Park and currently feel physicaly ill with tiredness.

Good: Have whacked myself out of apathy and am seeking new employment that is more suitable to a 23 year old with an IQ of 144 and a degree.
Bad: I look at every job and think 'Wow, I can't do that!' or 'How am I going to have experience if every job wants me to have previous experience?'

Good: I get to dress up as a pirate thiss weekend.
Bad: I'm re-using the same costume I used last time, only this time the pirate is 'undead' people may notice.

Good: I get to go to Belguim in July!
Bad: Work will only give me five days off to go to Belguim and nearly two whle days of that time will be wasted traveling.

Good: I finaly broke down and cried my macho eyes out over the crappyness that is me and it made me feel a bit better.
Bad: Crying like a baby on the bathroom floor because you suck at life is Emo, Emo like Spiderman3...Boo fricking hoo, everyone has problems and you're directly responcible for all of yours so suck it up...Me.

Bad: This post is whiny.
Good: it's relatively short.

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Friday, May 11th, 2007
3:04 pm - House Series 3, Episode 10
Pay close attention to Dr Cuddy's right eye...

She has what appears to be 'Scleral injection' or a bloodshot area of her eye.

Suggested cause: Ejaculation of 'gentleman's relish' onto the eye.

Secondary Risks: chlamydial conjunctivitis, abrasion and erosion of the cornea, chronic pain and even blindness if repeated.

Treatment: Emersion of the eye in Optrex or other medicated eye bath and avoidance of certain male cast members.

Porn stars lead a risky life.

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Wednesday, May 9th, 2007
12:48 am - Emo Poem
A poem:
Death oh gloomy doom, why can't I just die?
Your sweet mystery to me is like blackberry pie.
Slashy slash goes the knife and blood spatters in my eye.
Oh shit I have changed my tiny mind.
I know! I'll ring nine nine ni.....

In other news, Whitby was cool....I am STILL sniffly from horrible girl germs....urgh!

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Saturday, April 7th, 2007
5:35 pm - Hijinks in 3d
I'm
ClawdiaLeFay
on


Yes....

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Tuesday, March 6th, 2007
11:24 pm - I suck
...because..I return to livejournal mostly to advertise a website whose tag is debatable..

IMVU - The World's Greatest 3D Chat

Nevertheless I am crazily addicted to it....My username is LordVore if you ever are on there..I joined up with a whole bunch of online friends so at least I'm not alone in my madness..It affords me the fantastic opportunity to be the goth slut I always wanted to be.

It probably isn't the best 3D chat because there is Second Life...Though SL is more of a sprawling 3d world unlimited by contact lists and many times more chaotic..Though IMVU does let you 'random chat' with people as an option..Which I do..So that I can blast them with dark matter or chop them up with a sword in most cases...The adult content of Second Life is now miles ahead of IMVU which is only just becoming a filth magnet.

News in my real life: Holliday from work last week...wasted some of it...Destroyed a rubik's cube (after solving it once mind..Twisted it in half, shoddy version)..

Went to visit Mrs Jess in Wales...much fun was had and much drink was imbibed..Had no trouble all night and got on like a rabbit in a microwave...(You think 'house on fire' makes more sense?)..with everyone..in some cases to the point of wanting to run away...Not to mention names (Jess will know of what I speak..though it were not her chasing me I might add).

All was well till friday night when I went out with the ex (now friend) and her friend (increasingly good friend)...Must have been the alcohol but I decided I was on my period and got all tearful and upset about being a minger...Despite (obviously) the fact that I'm sex on legs...I blame the Absinth on wednesday...bad green chemicals writhing through my brain like the tentacles of a Lovecraftian wet dream.

Last night was then the humdinger (and yet there was neither hum or ding on to which to lay the blame)....I lay in bed all night wondering what had broken in my grey matter...It felt like I'd been injected with caffiene for a week..I was practicaly vibrating off the bed with nervous energy...wtf? It felt like my 'sleep' program was giving me incomprehensible error messages..I want to get Linux installed or something.

What news to come? Whitby...Need new trousers...was thinking leather...but only if I could bottle the sweat that drips down inside and sell it on as Eu De Gawth...Otherwise I think I'd better reconsider that plan...Maybe I should bring Spandex to the goth world again...They were both born in the eighties..Ok...maybe not but they fall into the same category of 'eighties weirdness everyone normal is trying to put behind them'...

IMVU is full of a lot of abnormal people.

Oh yes..and I bought a TomTom....sooo...Where shall I go? I'm trying 'Narnia' first though I don't know the postcode.

That money I said I had in a previous post...a lot of that is gone now....Ah the cost of living/living dangerously.

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Sunday, February 18th, 2007
2:46 am - Hairy Facets
Two of my most recent easthetics...within a week of each other so you can guess which came first.

Empty outer shells (photos of my brainbox)Collapse )

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Saturday, January 27th, 2007
3:53 pm - stuff... honest..
I have so much free time now and yet rather a sack load of cash....Yeah I could do with not spending it on total crap, maybe on pressies for those I may see soonish. (my christmas is very elongated yet pleasing to the eye).

This means I am trying to think of something I might actualy..Y'know....Do...

Due to my workplace keeping on lots of christmas staff I'm working minimal hours and if I'm not actualy going anywhere (OMG Sunlight!! NOOO) I could at least do..stuff. (See I wasn't lieing)

One of my friends recently made a 'What do you want? I will do it!' blog entry and I suppose this is mine...I do photo manipulation, DJing online, Sound..stuff, graphics, writing, posing/disguises...bah you name it...What I really need in life is a big floaty hand pointing at things saying 'Hey...want to try this?'...Currently the one in my head is pointing at a brothel...I always ignore the one in my head...

Not just ideas for creative stuff...but...places to go, mischief to get up to..as random or as amusing as possible....I will use all the holliday I'm owed for this last year in the next couple of months doing random stuff...So if you're still oddly reading this...Tell me to do something and I'll do it and will even take photos.

Unlike Meatloaf..yes I will even do 'that'.

Yeah..I'm bored and unfulfilled...but at least I'm not watching daytime television.

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Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
4:10 am - Entry Number One
Chaos came to me tonight at 3AM....She seemed sad so I offered her the dreggs of my 'Size Matters' hot chocolate mug. She supped with great vigour and behind her I saw the context rushing out of colour like a ruby...There was a mocking tone in the air and it sang eldritch harpsichord defiances around my neck till all was egg black to the quick.

When I awoke, no time had passed. My chair beneath me was soaked and for a moment I thought my waters had broken but then reality reasserted itself and I saw it was spilled chocolate mixture, thick and dark.

In other news....No....I couldn't think of anything interesting to write based outside my head...but nobody ever does write about reality do they?

Or do they?

The answer is no...

But do they though?

No...They don't.

That's a reference...But you won't get it.

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Friday, January 19th, 2007
4:13 am - Arbitrary Subject Heading
I am, as I said to one of my friends recently, 'a bit...hidey in a hole' of late.

I won't even start with the why and how and all that carey sharey stuff because I'm frankly sick of my own shit...Stiff upper lip wot wot?

So positives! I'm going to Whitby this April....Whitby Goth Convention that is...Or at least I am if the tickets arrive...Does anyone know anything about them? Am I going to be waiting till May? I emailed the site...three seperate addresses and got no answer.

You can occasionaly catch me DJing at Radio.darkness.com come expecting oddness and random..

I am still nocturnal...And in every single way frustrated...Mostly by myself and my lack of motivation....I'm sure when I try to integrate with the world once more I will achieve great things...Like...Leaving the house for things other than work...Such a boundless world of opportunity...Such a tiny tiny comfort zone.

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Monday, December 25th, 2006
8:33 pm - Erm
Very fitting in many ways

On the twelfth day of Christmas, voreagkelos sent to me...
Twelve smurfs drumming
Eleven corsets piping
Ten cookies a-leaping
Nine badgers cartooning
Eight spiders a-doodling
Seven boogles a-kissing
Six monkeys a-dancing
Five bla-a-a-ack books
Four unsigned bands
Three jello marackas
Two pschoactive ingredients
...and a rock in a sky.
Get your own Twelve Days:

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Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
12:56 am - Best Geek Homage?
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoID=1385305646

I want to do stuff like this...The ending is very well thought out...

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Friday, December 1st, 2006
3:41 pm - Where Is My Mind
Today it is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnM1H1RCwiI

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Friday, October 6th, 2006
12:25 am - News Gash
I just became a reporter for an online News Blog with a difference....If you like The Onion..hopefully you'll like this..Once we learn to be funny.

http://thedailysquib.blogspot.com/

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Wednesday, September 27th, 2006
12:49 am - Wot I ave bin up tuh...
Well I've given up sleep for lent again to get my creative juices flowing...Then I mopped up the mess and uploaded it to the interwebs to show and tell you all about the varifold gubbins...Enjoy.

This fellah below, who owns a forum I go on, showed me this here site http://www.hauntedmemories.com/newgallery.htm
Sire

So I revenged upon him for making me want to try out creepalizing people at 2AM by making him look...

..like this.
Sireevil

And to finish off the effect I spent hours trying to work out how to do..

..This.
Siremorph

Apologies if you have dialup..but you suck if you do and I don't care.

Looks like it sparked both our interest and we're starting a project together hopefully...Impulse creativity rules.

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Sunday, August 6th, 2006
11:17 am - Outpouring
Well it's time for my Hollyoaks style update..

Last night I went out with my old friend Rick..We went to the Pit and started to have an ok time...Then my ex turned up with her friends...We've only been split a matter of weeks so things are not settled between us yet...Things were ok though and after a while they set off for Nightowl..

Nightowl sadly is the only worthwhile place to go on a saturday unless you like cheese that much (or paying five pounds to go to the Hub..No.) Ended up going there as well...Big mistake..Danced with my ex all friendly like because nobody else would dance...Next thing you know she's at the bar with some (truely gnarly) guy who buys her a drink..And I see her repeating the first part of our relationship right there with a guy four years my junior..The long chat..The hug. I think she only drew the line at the kiss and the straddling because she remembered I was there. She comes over to tell me about it...Apologising..I say I'm ok...But perhaps it's not the right time to say 'I love you' to me as if this makes it look any less like it's taken her moments to get over 'us' and be ready for the next guy.

She got me to shake his hand...An odd gesture...'Here is my ex boyfriend..Who isn't over me yet..Have you met?'..Hmm..At this point Rick proves himself a fine friend by offering to stand on this guy's foot 'accidentaly' I eventualy agree but I can't linger..I find my lemon and lime has started to taste like bile..So off me and Rick go to drive home and drink stronger stuff under the stars and talk about Dinosaurs, Zombie Sheep and getting away from Cheltenham for good.

The thing that bothers me is my own sense of decency...I feel almost like I expect far too much...If someone had walked up to me and we'd got chatting..Fine (though I'd have been uncomfortable with it and spent some time chatting to my ex to make them feel less alienated)..but I'd have drawn the line at making any obvious moves given my recent ex who I supposedly still care about is right behind me. It just makes it feel like I was as easy to get over as a sneeze...And she's already thinking 'Right...Now onto the next!'...Which given my past experiences doesn't suprise me really...but still...Ow.

Edit/ And yes I did cry today but only a bit...I can't quite pull off the 'mustard gas in the eye' Hollyoaks crying when alone...I'm a big girl but I just look at myself crying and wonder what use it is..This ruins the whole experience.

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Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006
12:59 am - Hey!!
What are you doing?!!!

I can see you sat there...You're avoiding actualy pulling yourself together and living your life!

Remember that idea you had? You wanted to actualy do that before you died right? Well get a move on! Did you ever go for that picnic in the park? Nope...Did you show that person how much they meant to you?...No time like the present..Doesn't take a major song and dance..

Right now you could be writing that book you have in you..That story...That autobiographical tale...Painting, sculpting, chatting on the phone to an old acquaintance...Even just enjoying those small pleasures you never make time for...Spoil yourself..Go on....

....Because tomorrow I'm going to murder you.

Just kidding.

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Thursday, July 27th, 2006
3:25 pm - Funny web links
Work safe and well worth a watch...I nearly died laughing but then I'm twisted.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXOhkIyGMEY Rat Guy Hoax

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDu351QNoZE Wires..You need to remix this...Someone tell him.

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Sunday, July 23rd, 2006
2:23 am - POTC2
This is how I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean 2

Piccies people!Collapse )

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